To know me...

You've all heard the saying,' To know me is to love me.' Right? well, not in this particular case. I'm not necessarily that lovable. Although we're instructed to 'love one and other' and 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' This day and age it's more like, 'All for one and that one is me.' or 'if you don't like it, there's the door'. Times sure have changed.
 But I, on the other hand, don't always, if ever, give a good first impression. Don't ask me why, but if you're going to introduce me to someone.....just don't. It's a whole lot easier that way. Easier for you and for me.

 For one, I won't have to worry about what not to say or what to say. Let's face it, sometimes saying nothing is the best thing to do. But then some people become very offended if you don't talk. Either way I look at it, I have the hardest part of the job here.
   Secondly, it's not easy for you because you look like an idiot. Here you are telling people that I'm funny, or interesting, a really nice person who, for whatever reason, should be part of this group. I get there, you  introduce me, everyone starts to chat. I say nothing for fear of making a chump out of myself. Or I don't shut up, because crowds make me nervous and I talk a lot when I'm nervous. Worse off, I talk about non-sense. Or talk too loud.
  Then where does that leave you? I'll tell you. Leaves you having to explain what in the world were you thinking!! I didn't fit in at all. I didn't share in any of the conversation, so your friends think I'm snobby, or better yet......stupid.
   OR I talked my head off about things NO ONE needs to know. My child's bodily functions. The turkey leg that I found in the back of the fridge that's probably been there since last thanksgiving. My hairstylist that sneezed while cutting my hair. No it's not a new style. Honest. Stop looking at me like that. LOL

  So there's that. I'm not perfect. I'm the worst kind of non-perfect. I think I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be in it's spot. When actually, I love piles. Hidden piles, organized piles, attractive piles (sticky note stacks.). Open one of the cabinet doors and you'll see.
   One self has seven plastic grocery bags in it. Each one filled with stuff. Baby sock, pens & pencils( that's where they went), library card (who's?), notebook paper with numbers written on it. Haven't thrown this away because I'm not sure if it's important. Bills, pay stubs, recipes, napkins from any and all fast food restaurants.
   Don't get me wrong, it's not cludder. It's a neat and clean mess. But I wasn't always this way. I was
Mrs. Throwoutski. Didn't matter what it was, if I didn't have a use or a place for it......out it went. Maybe not in the trash, sometimes to Goodwill. That's where the danger set in. Just after I got married.....
   My hubby is a collector or Mr. Justincasekeeper. Everything from health magazines to product information booklets to things he no longer owns. The health magazines because he might want to 'get in shape'. The booklets, because basically, it's too much work to throw them out.
 
What happens when two worlds collide? Everything from laughter to tears. I would have a pile of 'I don't know'. This was for my hubby to go through. After a while, I would have to move the pile to a bigger location. Still, a week or two later, it's still there. It would be then that I would decide what's to stay or what's to go. I would try really hard to make an objective opinion on paperwork, receipts, odd and end things. I would make a pile on the stairs that needed to go upstairs. A plastic bag would hang on the door to the stairs downstairs. A pile on the teens bed that they need to tend to..etc.
  Needless to say, if after I went through everything and made the individual piles, they were still there in a week........I would throw them out. Figuring if they haven't missed anything so far, they won't miss anything at all. So I toss it. Toss it all!

  One day I tossed some papers and a couple of odd and end things. A couple days later my hubby was frantically looking for something. A d.v.d.. One of the rentals. I start to sweat. I probably threw it out.
So I fess up. 'If it was in the pile on the stairs, I tossed it.'  Hubby dear digs out the trash, and sure enough, there it is.
  Since then, if something's missing I get the third degree. 'Did you throw it out?' or ' You probably threw it out.'  Getting a little offended. After all , I wasn't throwing things out to be mean, I was just trying to keep things clean. NOW I have devised a plan. PILES. Piles everywhere. Piles here, piles there, here a pile, there a pile everywhere a pile pile.
  When any of the piles become obtrusive I simple plop it in my hubby's lap.
  This eliminates the stress on both our parts. I pile things away that I don't know what to do with. When I become irritated by the pile, I hand it to my hubby. Let him do with it what he may. Just as long as it gets put away I'm good.
  Like I said, we now have pile's'. You can't see any of them, they're all hidden. There's one upstairs in the bedroom closet, top shelf. I forgot about it. A) it's above my head..and 2) it's not my closet. haha
  The baby was sick and I couldn't find a thermometer. Hubby decides to 'go looking' for it. Honestly, I envy him for that. I wouldn't know where to start. He went through every nook and cranny of the house.
 Finally, about twenty minutes later, he comes in the baby room with the thermometer. Hooray!!
  'Where'd you find it?' I knew it had to be a pile somewhere. Sure enough, the one I just described upstairs. Then he starts to laugh, he commented, ' found all kinds of cool stuff in that pile.'

 So there you have it.