Poor Jack

There's a man that lives in the neighborhood. I don't know his name, but I certainly can't call him a gentleman. He either has a boy named Jack or a dog. I'm going for dog here. 

  For as long as I was outside, I could hear him scolding Jack. Bad boy Jack. I'm gonna kick your a--, Jack. Get over here Jack. You're such a bad boy Jack. That does it Jack, you're gonna get it. And on and on and on. 

  I don't know jack about this man or Jack, but I do know my blood was starting to boil. Poor Jack.  He didn't want to come in. And who could blame him, boy or dog, when you're constantly being threatened. 

  If I were Jack, I wouldn't come back either. 

  I tried to spy between the trees at the upset man. But I couldn't see anything. Not even Jack. 

  As I went in to take my shower, I found myself talking to this man in my head. (you've done it. Don't lie) I was asking him if he'd take $50. for the dog.(again, I believe Jack is a dog) Trying to convince him that he'd be $50 richer with one less problem on his hands.

  Of course the schmuck tried to get $100.00 out of me. But I'm too quick. Tallying up the amount of dog food Jack would eat in a month, the Vet. bills for routine check ups, bathing and daily walks.......I assured him he was making out in the end. If he takes the $50., and gives Jack to me, then he'd be saving himself a lot of money and stress in the long run. 

  Of course he hesitated, asking me if I'd treat him right. (Oh so much better that you are mister!) I nodded and said,' of course. definitely!'  He finally gave in.

  So I bound home with my new pal, Jack. Give him a bath and say to him,' You're such a Good Boy Jack.' He licks my face and we play in the backyard. Frisbee. All dogs love to play Frisbee. He's such a good boy.

Jack's very grateful to be out of the hands of the wicked, mean old man. Who probably blew the $50.00 on some cheap beer. Who cares, I have Jack. And all is well with the world again, thanks to me. :)

My shower is done. Fairytale is over. I get out, dry off and go back to the daily grind of Mommydom.

I did not offer the mean old man $50.00. I did not rescue Jack. For all I know, Jack could be this mans pet tarantula. In this case, he can keep Jack, I keep my $50.00 and we go about our business. 

  I'm confident, if Jack is a hairy spider, he'll bite the mean old man in the butt one day. 

Why? Because he can.