INVEST

When you think of the word invest, what comes to mind? Money? Stocks? Bonds? Retirement? College? Work? Renovations? Vacation?
There are so many things that come to mind. All of these things are for the future. So, investing for the future. Usually your own. That's not a bad thing. Saving money is hard to do in this economy.
If you're married, it takes two salaries to keep a home afloat these days. If you're single, it may take two jobs. We plan for our future, we plan for our child's future. Monetarily.
What about investing time? Investing money is to save money for a later purpose. But investing time is to spend now for a better tomorrow. Another persons tomorrow. Like your child, parent, grandparent, sibling, friend or even a stranger. Time is the most valuable thing we have. And we waste it.
Money doesn't grow on trees and time doesn't stand still. We spend money like we'll never run out and we treat time like it also won't run out. But they do.

I was thinking about my Mom today. About time. Did I spend enough time with her? Could I have spent more? How many people took time out of their every day lives to spend time with my Mom?
My Mom had ovarian cancer. She lived with it for ten years, and everything that went with it. The Chemo, Radiation, Atrophy. Ten years my Mom spent her time with cancer. Her life slowly fading. Not a welcome guest, and one that stayed way too long. She did not survive cancer, it ultimately took her life. Cancer used up the last ten years of her life. Her time was spent in pain, in darkness.
What I was thinking about was all the people that knew her. Friends, family, siblings, co-workers, bowling buddies. How many of them took the 'time' to call? Visit? Send a card? Mostly time to visit. In ten years, not many. Not as many as I would want to visit me if I were in the same situation.
Oh, I could have spent more time with her as well, I'm not innocent here. I live 700+ miles away, with young children. So I say I didn't always have the time. But when I did, I would be on the plane. I didn't only spend time with my Mom, but also with my younger siblings and step Dad.
When an illness hits home, it not only affects the person, but the people around her. My siblings who have relied on her all their lives. My Step Dad who has provided a home for her and has been by her side for years. They too are going through this. I wanted to spend time with them as well. To share not only my Moms burden but my families burden.

When I said not many people would visit, I'm serious. I can probably count on the tip of a toothpick the amount of family members that came to see her in her time of great need. My thoughts are, she never asked, so they didn't come. She was afraid of rejection. Afraid everyone is too busy to stop and spend time with her.

I called my Mom one day and asked if I could come home to help her out for a while. For as long as I could, a week maybe two. She started crying on the phone. She was so pleased and moved by my asking, I was shocked. I asked her why she was crying. My Mom responded,' I've been wanting to call you to ask you to come. But you have your own life, your own kids. You can't afford the time.' I was crushed.

This isn't the first time I've gone home to help in the past ten years. Numerous times I have spend hopping on a plane, sometimes for a two day stay. Sometimes longer. This time, I had been laid off from work, I had time and I wanted to spend it on the matters of back home.
(Honestly, I thought my Mom would straight out say no. She, at this point, didn't seem to want people around. Most times when I called, I talked to the answering machine. She'd listen to my messages but never return my call. So I would leave long messages of love and adoration. How much she means to me and how I miss her and that I'm praying for her.)

Gladly, I went home. I was there for a month. I would've stayed longer but there were issues on the home front with my children that I was needing to attend to. But in that period of time, I got to talk with my Mom.
I messaged her legs. They hurt so bad the pain caused by radiation it kept her up at night. I cleaned, with the help of my sisters, and rearranged and organized the house. Cleaning is one way to show my Mom love. If the house is clean and you put your things away, she knows you love her.
I also held her while she cried at night. This was hard. This is my Mom. She's always seemed so strong. I didn't know what she wanted me to do or say. So I held her and rocked her. I said what needed to be said. I love you. I am here because I love you.
She wept more.
Then, she asked me through her tears,' Why is this happening to me? What did I ever do?'
How do you answer such a question?? What did you do? Nothing. It's cancer. You can't possibly think that you're being punished. NO!!



Telling her gently that God loves her more than anyone in this world ever could. Jesus died for her, her particularly. For her pain and suffering, taking away her punishments for any wrongdoings any sin. That's love. He spent thirty years of His life for her. The ultimate love, the ultimate sacrifice. All of His time.
I couldn't answer all her questions. I couldn't relieve her of physical pain. I only hope that I could give her comfort in the remaining time she had. Comfort in the time we shared. It wasn't a lot of time, I wish it could have been more.

In the end, at her funeral, I couldn't keep track of the many people that said they wished they had spent more time with her.
Time doesn't stand still, not for you, not for me. Time is the most precious thing we could share with one an other and give to each other. My time is fruitless unless I share it.

I love you and miss you greatly Mom. One day I hope to see you again. Then, we'll have all the time there is. 

James 4:14
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Where could your time be better invested?